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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29405172">Unresolved</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mcray/pseuds/Mcray'>Mcray</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bittersweet Ending, F/M, Light Angst, Mutual Pining</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 10:23:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,679</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29405172</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mcray/pseuds/Mcray</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Things have been weird between them for a little while now. He thought they were on their way to becoming friends! But ever since they left Redcliffe, Alistair has been sensing some weird tension between himself and the other Warden. Was it because of the secret he revealed while they were there?<br/>Lenolai hasn't purposefully been pulling away from Alistair, but even so, she has unknowingly been keeping her distance from him for a little while now. Will she be brave enough to tell him the reason for her pulling away?</p><p>This is a tiny one-shot in my canon of DA:O of these two talking about some unsolved stuff between them, while they both silently pine for each other.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alistair (Dragon Age)/Original Female Character(s), Alistair/Female Warden (Dragon Age), Alistair/Tabris (Dragon Age)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Unresolved</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This has not been beta-read so if you see any glaring mistakes, they will probably be fixed soon. Hope you enjoy this :)</p><p>[Trigger Warning for the allusion of sexual assault as what happens with Shianni gets briefly mentioned (not in detail though).]</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The night is quiet, blissfully so. After not getting to set up camp for three days straight because of the rampant darkspawn attacks, everybody seems to be enjoying the little window of rest they could finally get. Only Lenolai is still up, and will probably be until the sun approaches the horizon, keeping watch by the fire. Sleep had never come easily to her anyways and from the beginning of their journey, she has always preferred to stay up to look out for danger alone. She takes solace in the fact that when alone, she can let the pretences fall away. At least on some level.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Heyy you, mind if I join you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She tenses, just slightly, at the voice of Alistair. She hadn’t heard him sneak up. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck, how did I let my guard down?</span>
  </em>
  <span> She straightens her back just a little bit and glances over at the sleepy form of her companion. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, but of course,” she says, gesturing to the log next to the one she’s sitting on. “And what are you doing up so late? Needed a break from all the snoring?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha-ha, very funny,” he grins, suppresses a yawn, and settles down next to her. “You know, for your information, I know for a fact that no one here could snore louder than Leliana.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As if on cue, they hear the sounds coming from the bard’s tent getting louder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lenolai flashes him a small smile at that but doesn’t say anything and turns her eyes back to the fire. Even though to most she would give the impression of being content and relaxed, weeks on the road with the elf have made Alistair pick up on the more subtle signs of when something isn’t quite right with her. The fact that she hasn’t let down her hair in a week is saying something. Her restraint and slight uneasiness don’t go unnoticed by him anymore, but he doesn’t push it for the time being.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They sit like that in silence for a little while, just looking at the intricate dance of the endlessly shifting flames, varying from oranges and reds to shades of golds and purples. The crackling of the burning logs and the comforting sounds of the forest come to life in the nighttime is all they can hear. It’s... not exactly awkward, but the silence between them is not entirely comfortable either.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a while, Alistair speaks up. “Hey... can I maybe ask you something?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lenolai glances over at him and gives a tiny smile. “Yes of course. Ask away.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well... truth be told, I have noticed that as of late you have seemed sort of distant. In fact, ever since we left Redcliffe it almost even sounds like you’ve been... avoiding me.” He looks down and lifts one of his hands to rub his neck. “I mean, of course, I could have also been imagining it, you know how I am, always getting the wrong idea from everything…” he says with a self-deprecating chuckle. “So, if, um, that hasn’t been the case then, you know. Forget about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She doesn’t answer at first. She doesn’t move or seem to react in any way, just continues looking at the fire. Well. If it wasn’t before, then the silence is certainly awkward now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You... really have been avoiding me, haven’t you?” says Alistair after a minute of her not responding. He looks away from the other warden and seems to almost deflate. “... may I at least know why? I... I thought we were becoming friends...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She glances up at this, looking at him with shame written all across her face, but also something else. Almost like... fear?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alistair’s words are coming faster now. “If you wish for me to keep my distance from you then... that’s okay, I understand. Just... would you please tell me the reason? Then, if that is your wish I will not bother you anymore.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Normally he is so chipper and goofy, even in the face of danger, always trying to cheer up his party members. </span>
  <em>
    <span>How is it possible for a man of his stature to suddenly look so small? </span>
  </em>
  <span>she thinks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lenolai is usually incredibly skilled with her words. She is the most charismatic of their entire group, even more so than Leliana, which makes sense because Lenolai is their leader after all. This time, however, her words have seemed to have failed her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She wrings her hands together and sits up a bit straighter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I... I’m sorry. I never…” she sighs and closes her eyes for a moment. “I never meant to hurt you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She takes a long breath and lets it out. “It’s about your father. About what you told me about him when we arrived at Redcliffe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even though it doesn’t seem possible, Alistair seems to shrink even more. “Oh. Right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looks down at the ground for a moment and whispers, “I shouldn’t have told you after all, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It feels like a hand has reached into her chest and is slowly twisting her heart. When had she started to care so much about this man?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alistair. It’s not what you think. I... I really appreciate that you told me-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But it still made you view me differently. Like everyone else who finds out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a moment of tense silence, he chuckles and mutters “I guess I should have expected it.” His eyes look absolutely miserable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lenolai’s heart </span>
  <em>
    <span>aches. </span>
  </em>
  <span>The weeks after what happened at Ostagar had been rough, to say the least. Not just because of what they had been through but because Lenolai didn’t trust her new travelling companions straight away, even though she might have made them think she did. It took a lot of effort to let her shoulder relax every night. Even so, as time moved on, her efforts of trying to stay cold and distant seemed to continuously fail. Unbeknownst to her, she had started to warm up to this big goofy shem and their other, witchy companion and as their journey continued and their little ragtag group of darkspawn killers grew in size, she and Alistair as the only Grey Wardens slowly became like the leader and her right-hand man. Where she went, he went, and vice-versa. It had come as a big surprise to her how well they worked together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nonetheless, even though on the surface Lenolai seemed to be friendly to almost all, she was far from being </span>
  <em>
    <span>open </span>
  </em>
  <span>with her party members - none of them really knew of her past. Her diplomatic answers in times of tension and killer persuasive skills were always ready to get them all out of trouble, but she had never let herself be truly vulnerable. They would all go their separate ways after the mission was over anyways, no?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Weirdly enough, even though she tried her hardest to keep her heart walled off, the person she had grown to trust the most was... Alistair. How had she let that happen?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lenolai speaks up after a while. “I... I didn’t know that you were a noble before... “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alistair’s head springs up at this. “Me? A... noble? What in the maker are you on about? Have you actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>seen </span>
  </em>
  <span>me? I am probably the clumsiest man in all of Thedas.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> what I’m talking about,” she answers, ignoring his attempt at humour, getting slightly defensive. “You’re the next in line for the throne of Ferelden. You even grew up among the nobility. As I understand the Arl of Redcliffe was almost like a father to you as well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did I really make it sound like that?” he answers and scrunches up his eyebrows. “I wasn’t actually permitted to sleep in the castle you know, or, spend much time there otherwise. Eamon did keep an eye on me, but I guess he didn’t want the rumours of me possibly being </span>
  <em>
    <span>his </span>
  </em>
  <span>bastard to travel about either. And then I was soon sent away because of Isolde as you know and all that, so. It wasn’t actually that bad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She stays quiet for a little bit and then asks “But... how could they treat you like that, knowing you were the king’s son?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The idea that a man of his lineage, not to say a </span>
  <em>
    <span>human </span>
  </em>
  <span>could be treated like that was difficult to grasp for her still, as someone who grew up in the Alienage. During her life there, she had never really seen a non-mage human man treated as poorly as her people usually have to suffer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah well, my oh so mighty father had to be kept a secret of course as you know, and in truth, only Eamon ever knew of that. He swore never to tell anyone, including Isolde. And because there was Cailan and my mother was also of no significance really..., “ his thought wanders off for a second, eyes looking sorrowful and distant. “So. Yes. Even though I suppose now you could consider me a </span>
  <em>
    <span>noble</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he says, making air quotes around the last word. “I was actually never raised as one. Which to me, and to everybody who meets me very clearly shows that I am just a man who shouldn’t be paid any attention to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lenolai keeps looking at him, looking thoughtful but pained still. The tension in her shoulders seems to have started to melt away though, at least a little bit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s a few moments of silence between them again. Alistair is looking into the fire. He looks sad, lonely. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After looking at him for a little bit, Lenolai starts to speak. “I have never really talked about my past with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you are under no obligation to tell me now, or ever, okay?” Alistair interrupts her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, but I want to!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She stops after this, looking a bit surprised at her outburst, and continues. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have come to... trust you, Alistair.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Alistair’s cheeks turn a shade darker at this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is very... difficult for me to begin to trust people,” she continues and moves her arms so she’s almost hugging herself. “And when I say people, I mainly mean shems. Or, sorry, humans.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alistair looks at her earnestly but doesn’t interrupt. She looks away from his gaze and continues, hesitantly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Something very terrible happened to someone very dear to my heart because of a group of human... nobles. I... killed them for it. That’s actually also the reason why Duncan recruited me to become a Warden.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At the mention of the man’s name, her lip curls just a little bit, which doesn’t go unnoticed by Alistair. Had that happened before when they’d talked about him? Or had he simply not noticed? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Duncan...”, Alistair interjects but Lenolai cuts him off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>know </span>
  </em>
  <span>how much he meant to you. I know how good he was to you. And I know that many considered him to be an exemplary man but... With all honesty I don’t think I can ever see him as such,” she says and lets out a long breath. “The thing is, he could have stopped what was happening. He could have stopped that fucking piece of shit from hurting her, but his stupid ‘Grey Warden neutrality’ supposedly stopped him from doing so.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She doesn’t look away from the fire that has died down a little bit for a few moments, but when he doesn’t try to answer, she glances up at him and is surprised to find him with his eyes slightly misty and eyebrows drawn together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He leans towards her, just a little bit and seems to want to reach out but then thinks better of it and pulls back as if he’s afraid of scaring her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So that is why you always try to help the folk we meet when we travel around. Even though you’re a Grey Warden.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looks at him for a second before turning away and then nods, shoulders sagging a little bit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am so sorry, Lela.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her heart skips a beat at the sound of the nickname leaving his lips. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He’s never used it before. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I... I am sorry,” she continues. “For treating you the way I have been. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>swear </span>
  </em>
  <span>on Andraste I didn’t mean to, um, pull away from you,” she says with a faint blush appearing on her cheeks at the last part.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, you had good reason to. And here I am always going on about what a great man Duncan was too,” he replies.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, but we were already on our way to becoming friends before you told me. I should have known that you are nothing like that because you have </span>
  <em>
    <span>proven </span>
  </em>
  <span>it to me on so many occasions. Finding out that you, someone who I have grown to... care about, could possibly be like one of those monsters, just made things very difficult for my head.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And my heart, </span>
  </em>
  <span>she adds in her mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She then turns fully towards the man and says, more intensely than she intended to “I know that I can trust you with my life, Alistair.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At that, a lovely colour blooms on Alistair’s cheeks, even reaching his neck and ears. For a second the latter even look a bit... pointy at the ends? But no, must be light playing tricks on her mind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He coughs and raises his hand to his neck again. “I, uh, well. That is a very nice thing to say.” He seems to be having trouble looking straight at her and goes on. “You know that I trust you with my life as well, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>How can he look so cute? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Lenolai thinks as she feels her own face heat up. She hopes it’s too dark for him to notice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um. Yes. Of... of course,” she smiles and ducks her head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The smile she gets in return could outshine even the darkest of nights. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He is absolutely beautiful, </span>
  </em>
  <span>she thinks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Soo, does that mean that we can make up and go back to braiding each other’s hair again?” says Alistair and grins at her, his whole body seemingly less tense already.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That makes her chuckle and relax in turn as they both smile at each other for a little bit. They stay like that for a little while, seemingly alright for now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a while, Alistair stands to bring more material for the fire and Lenolai gets it going again. For an instance, their hands brush against each other, making both of their heartbeats get faster, but otherwise, they move about in comfortable silence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sounds of Lenolai’s mabari shuffling around in his sleep as he probably runs after some hurlocks in his dreams and Leliana’s snoring in the background are comforting. Sten’s mumbling gets louder for a second and then dies out again. An owl hoots near the waterbed at the edge of the camp. The stars twinkle the way they always do, their shine constant and reassuring.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a while of them getting re-used to feeling at ease in each other’s company, Alistair speaks up again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“About Duncan. I am sorry for how much I’ve been blabbering about him being this awesome guy. I know why he must have thought he was doing the right thing, but I know that it’s no justification for his inaction. I promise I will not sing his praises to you anymore.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At that, Lenolai sends him a small and grateful smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I promise that from this day onward I will actively show you how much you can trust me,” he says. “I... actually care about you a lot and I am incredibly lucky to get to call you my friend.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her heartbeat picks up at this again and she has to look away from his beautiful, blushing cheeks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was never her intention to grow so close to someone like this, certainly not him. Friendship is one thing, but catching feelings beyond that is something else altogether. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not with him. Not right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It would hurt too much.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>With her heart aching in her chest and the barely suppressed whirlpool of feelings that seem to grow in magnitude every day, she answers. “Yes. Me too.”</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Just had to get it out of my system. Hope you liked it!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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